The funeral home, with its sterile scent of lilies mingling with the chill of air conditioning, was a stage set for grief. At the front of the small American chapel, two tiny white coffins lay side by side on a low platform — one for Oliver, one for Lucas. They were seven months old. Five days ago, I had sat in the quiet of night, feeding them, caressing their soft skin. Now, pastel flowers replaced the toys that should have been strewn across the room.
The mourners moved past me in a slow, deliberate line. Each hand squeezed mine, each pair of lips whispered “I’m so sorry,” their voices muffled, as if coming from underwater. I nodded, an automatic response to a world that no longer made sense. Every blink conjured their faces, smiling up at me in the innocence of infancy.
Across the room, my mother-in-law, Diane, stood like the leading lady in some somber theater production. Clad in a black dress with a matching hat and a netted veil, she dabbed at her dry skin with a lace handkerchief, a portrait of stoic suffering. Relatives surrounded her, offering condolences as if she were the chief mourner.
“She’s being so strong,” someone murmured behind me, their voice laced with admiration.
My husband, Trevor, stood at her side, his face a mask of stone. When our eyes met, a flash of something almost accusatory passed through his gaze, a silent suggestion that this was somehow my fault.
The police had labeled it SIDS — sudden infant death syndrome. Twins, both in the same night. “Rare, but not impossible,” the detective had said gently, explaining the inexplicable. “No signs of suffocation, no bruising, no obvious trauma.” Just… gone.
Yet, my body refused to accept it. A whisper inside me insisted there was more to this story, a missing piece we had all overlooked.
Pastor John approached the lectern, beginning the service with words of heaven and angels and God’s mysterious plans. I focused on the tiny coffins, fighting the urge to scream.
Then Diane rose from the front pew, placing a hand on her chest as she walked up the aisle. The room stilled, all eyes on her. When she glanced back at me, something in her gaze made my skin crawl.
Her voice was soft at first, speaking of “my precious grandbabies,” of praying for their souls. There were sniffles, nods. Then her tone changed, growing stronger.
“Sometimes,” she declared, “God takes the innocent to spare them from what lies ahead. He sees things we cannot. He knows what kind of… influences… might have shaped these boys if they’d stayed.”
Slowly, a few heads turned toward me.
“God took them,” Diane continued, “because He knew what kind of mother they had.”
The air rushed from my lungs as if I had been punched.
