When a mother set limits on her daughter’s screen time, she never anticipated the emotional fallout. What started as a straightforward boundary soon turned into a growing divide between them. But this isn’t really about screens—it’s about understanding teenage grief, the instincts we rely on to cope, and learning how to communicate without breaking the bond of trust.
My teenage daughter is glued to her phone 24/7. So I made a new rule: one hour of phone time a day. She didn’t take it well. “You’ll regret this!” she cried.
Last week, I got an urgent call from her school. Her teacher said, “Please come. Your daughter is in the principal’s office.” I rushed over.
It was a different phone, definitely not the one I confiscated. She’d gotten it from a classmate who had a spare and had been hiding it in her locker.
When we got home, I confronted her. She didn’t even deny it. “You don’t understand!” she snapped. “My friends are everything! You cut me off from everyone!”
I said, “You lied. You broke school rules. And you went behind my back.”
She cried. I stayed calm, but inside, I was boiling. Not just from the disobedience, but because I felt like I didn’t even know her anymore. I ended up grounding her.
But I worry it’s not solving the real problem—just making it worse. Now, every time I try to talk to her, she looks at me like I’m the enemy. What shall I do now?
Meghan
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While we were driving home from preschool, she said it.
Her shoes were off, fruit snack on her leggings, staring out the window. Then came the bomb:
“Mom Lizzie says you’re the evil one. She’s the kind mom.”
My fingers went white on the wheel, yet I stayed calm.
At my mom’s house, during Tess’ nap, I checked the nanny cam I’d hidden months ago just in case.
And there it was. Lizzie on my couch, Daniel’s hand on her arm, a kiss on her temple.
Not a surprise, but still a gut punch.
I didn’t rage. I took screenshots. Then I drove to print them.
By morning, I’d contacted a lawyer.
Two days later, Daniel got the envelope.
He called, full of excuses. I hung up. Then blocked him.
No drama, no custody war. The divorce was quick.
I let him go, and let Tess love who she loved, even if it hurt.
I didn’t cry until one night at the beach, when Tess said,
“I miss them sometimes… but I think I love you the most.”
That’s when the tears came. Not out of anger, but quiet survival.
After that, Lizzie planned Tess’s birthday and sent me an invitation—to my own daughter’s party.
I went, for Tess. When Lizzie said she loved Tess like her own, I asked,
“Then why did she think I was the evil one?” She had no answer. I didn’t need one.
That night, Tess curled beside me, clutching seashells and a beach postcard.
“Did you cry after I fell asleep?”
“Yes, baby.”
“Happy or sad?”
“Both.”
Now, a photo sits on our mantle—me, Tess, and my mom at the beach. Windblown. Barefoot. Whole.
I didn’t fall apart. I stood up. And my daughter ran to me first.
